I heart the Gophers. Forever.

Do they put me through both mental and physical pain?
Do I experience an emotional rollercoaster during every.single.game?
Do they provide false hope and frequently lose at the last minute?
Will I be forever attached to the Minnesota Golden Gophers?

The answer to all of the questions above is...yes. A very recent loss (as in mere minutes ago) to the Badgers has sparked my interest in the subject matter and what better a forum to discuss my thoughts than...my own blog, muahah. The Gophers have been disappointing me for the last four years, yet I seem to have a never-ending love and often wonder if along with my pink blood, there's some maroon and gold in this body of mine. I went so far as dressing like a gopher to a game once. I've never been a fair weather fan and I don't plan to start anytime soon. I must say however, are you ever going to fucking win?

Games like this make me wonder if they (and I should clarify, I am mainly referring to the basketball team) have adapted to a, "give the fans what they expect" mindset, as opposed to a, "give the fans what they want" mindset. If in fact this is the case, these neck and neck games make a great deal of sense. And at this point, I'd like to say to the Gophers : change your damn mindset because us fans are sick and tired of being heartbroken. You have the skillz, it's time to use them and finish the game right.

A great game this was, if I remember correctly. But in proper Gopher fashion, it resulted in an L. #waitingtowin.

The Quest for Activities!

I've recently realized that I never really do anything exciting. As I have mentioned previously, my life has morphed into one big routine and I rarely break away from it - can you say, borrrring? And as fun as going out can still be (hollaaa - SHOTS), I'm on the quest for something more. Perhaps you can relate. When I hear people talking about fun shit that they do, I get really jealous. So when a fun Crowd Cut for snow tubing graced my inbox, I figured there's no better time than the present and what a perfect way to quench my thirst for some adrenaline. Woo!

On Friday a group of us hit the slops. Twas a blasty blast. If you haven't tried snow tubing, I highly recommend you do before this winter vanishes from our sights. Stomach sliding, going dubs, it's all good fun.

It's hard to get the idea from this photo so here's one that better demonstrates the monstrosity of these hills.

I know...we're cray.

I'd graciously accept any suggestions you have for group activities. Summer will be here soon enough and I want to really take advantage of all the exciting things Minneapolis has to offer! My last question though...is it a matter of space we need for activities? Is it possible that if my roommates and I build bunks like Dale and Brennan, that our problems will be solved? Hmm...

Chimps

In an effort to keep up with my once a week animal post promise I made, let's take a look at a good cause, and a cute chimpanzee. I have probably one of the biggest soft spots for animals out there. My Dad has suggested many-a-time that I become a vet but I don't think that would be smart considering I have no control over my tears when I see an animal suffer. I think my love for chimps was heightened at a young age by this movie:

And this:

They are both must-sees.

In the present moment I don't really have the resources to help animal causes, but I really like to keep them in mind for later days. On that note...I follow Alicia Silverstone's blog, The Kind Life, and was particularly drawn to her post a few days ago about chimpanzees. Apparently there has been an expert recommendation that chimp research and experimentation is unnecessary (although I'm against research involving animal experimentation in the name of science, anyway) and that these creatures need to be protected. Lab life is not good. The things these animals go through for the sake of humans includes confinement, mental and physical trauma, stress, fear, etc. Anyway, I won't go on and on but check out her post and/or send a letter asking your legislators to sign on to the Great Ape Protection and Cost and Savings Act!

If these animals aren't precious, I don't know what is.

I couldn't end a post about chimpanzees without a little laughter from what is one of my absolute favorite Youtubes. If you don't enjoy this and/or die of laughter, you're a machine.

What to do about the Damiens?

One of my hopes for this blog is that it helps me reflect on my year as a literacy tutor. I think I had good intentions going into this and believed in the cause. Now months into it, yes, I can say that I've made a difference. Reading scores have improved and in theory, programs like this help to close the achievement gap. But I think what I'm currently struggling with is far beyond reading scores. 

Serving for the Reading Corps in the Minneapolis Public School District is definitely a different animal than it would have been if I were placed in Edina, for example. I think it's safe to say that the kids in Minneapolis are from more varying walks of life. Sidenote: not trying to dis the 'burbs, just tellin' it like it is; Edina doesn't exactly have a need for the extra help. So far this year, I've heard a lot of sad stories and built relationships with students that come from backgrounds very different than my own; her dad's in prison, his family is homeless and living in a shelter, she's experienced sexual abuse from older brothers...you name it.

Signing up for this year I knew that I would encounter sad stories but was prepared to keep the end goal in sight. The Reading Corps is a successful program in place that helps to ensure that students in Minnesota are reading proficiently by the end of 3rd grade; and that's what I planned to keep my eye on. And while this is still my main concern and goal, other issues arise when you're working with a population like the one in Minneapolis. I've surprised myself thus far and kept my knowledge of these sad stories at bay, and for the most part haven't let them effect my emotions at work. Until I met a kindergartner who we'll call Damien.

I met Damien at the beginning of the school year. He's cute as a button, can draw damn good pictures for a kindergartner, and I can tell he's got brains. But within days, he had an arrow over his head; he was trouble. Having just turned 5 in August, he got an early start to a full day at school (something I've learned is a no-no). At this point, all I knew was that he had a knack for ignoring any authority and direction, and just looked like an angry kid. Just recently, I was asked by the Behavior Specialist at school if I could start working with him one-on-one because he just isn't making the gains he needs to and is already being considered for another year in kindergarten.

After a week, I got the go-ahead from my boss and I have started working with Damien. I found out there was a reason they wanted him to work with me. He had been getting extra help from a male tutor at school. Recently though, he witnessed his mom being physically abused by his dad. His trust for men consequently, has gone out the window. So we're hoping that because he knows me already, that he'll be able to build a solid, trusting relationship, and start learning what he needs to.

On top of those issues, he rarely gets to school on time which results in him missing school breakfast, and he isn't getting it at home. Bad start to the day. And he knows a max of 13 letters. This really isn't that off par from what many other students are also going through. And I fear I won't do justice in explaining this...but Damien is just different. I have never seen such a sad and angry five year old. It's a rare occasion when you see the kid smile and it absolutely breaks my heart. You can just sense that he's already gone through so much. When I walked him back to class after the first day we worked together, he held my hand so tight and I could just feel how much he wants needs to be loved and nurtured.

While I hope I can be a positive influence during these short 20 minutes in his day, let's be honest...that's not enough. It's a band-aid. I can pretty much lay out how the next 13 years of his life are going to go. Assuming he stays in the district, he'll have one, maybe two concrete role models for the rest of his elementary school years. But he'll keep getting into trouble. Not much will change going into middle school and he'll develop a negative attitude toward school and won't trust many adults in his life. Not to mention he'll probably fall behind in school. If he's lucky, someone will still see that innocence in him and try to make a difference; try to encourage him to find it in himself to think twice about trying in school. High school though, will be the icing on top of the cake. He'll be marked hopeless by teachers. He's no longer a cute kindergartner that can't help what he's gone through in life. By high school, that's forgotten and it's up to him to get it together. Hopefully he'll graduate, maybe not. College? Doubtful. I hate that I just said all that. And as much as I truly believe (and pray) things could turn around for Damien, I think it's simply against the odds. Of course there are people that have come up from unimaginable things and worked hard to be successful. But I think it's a rare person.

So my question after all this, is WTF do I (we) do. It maddens me to the core that there are countless kids like Damien, who don't ask for nor deserve the hand they've been dealt. And while I do believe that closing the achievement gap and putting a much stronger, concentrated effort on the educational issues in our country will help a number of these kids...it's still not enough. Nothing is perfect and we can't help them all. It's not a matter of "fixing" kids that come from broken homes. But there's this cyclical, messed up pattern that breeds Damiens. I have no answer at this point, unfortunately. But I encourage you think about it; think about any kids like Damien that you know, and fill me in on any wisdom you may have...because this my friends, has left me beat.

Dear, Diary...

When I started this blog mere days ago, I naturally told all my best gal pals (FOLLOW ME, BETCHES). My friend Ellen retorted, "I just don't get blogs, aren't they basically like, online diaries?" To which I wanted to respond, "Yes, Ellen. In fact, I am going to chronicle the date, time, and location of my every bowel movement." Because Ellen isn't a fan of this type of gross, sarcastic humor, I made the mature decision not to taunt her. However, I do think that under certain conditions, Ellen is indeed correct. A personal blog has aspects of an online diary. And on that note, my story begins.

About a month ago, the ancient Trooper that I had been driving started acting up. So my wonderful parents offered a trade. I switched cars with my Pops and am now driving a fully functioning Saturn. Or so I thought. Upon using the CD system for the first time, I was left in disappointment. Damn thing stopped working somewhere around track 5. I tried so many different CDs and concluded that perhaps, this is simply karma telling me I need to stop burning CDs and actually give the starving artists out there their just reward.

I was browsing the music section at Target in hopes of outfitting my new wheels with some new (and legal) jams. My number one pick:

I think it's only fair to thank my parents for introducing me to James, Sweet Baby James.

Also purchased Mission Bell by Amos Lee and the Best of Eric Clapton...excitingggg! So I get in my car, ready to jam. Karma is back on track and I. Am. Pumped. I was on track 5 and things were going swell...thought I was home free. Wahhh, wahhh. Somewhere in the middle of belting "How Sweet It Is" came silence. Vat the hell? Turns out it's a matter of ejecting, reinjecting (?), and being patient. Although my plan was to return the CDs if the car turned out to be faulty, I'm one of those gets-so-excited-and-opens-everything-right-away (!!!) people. So if you feel like listening to some E.C., A.L., or J.T., you know who's got the CDs. I'm still hoping it'll just all of a sudden decide to stop this cat and mouse game with me and let me enjoy my tunes. We'll see.

I'll leave you with one of my favorites. If you don't love James Taylor now, I'm guessing you will by the end of this song. Soothe, baby, soothe.

Nick, the Gastastic Kinder

So my current position, serving for the Minnesota Reading Corps as a kindergarten-focused literacy tutor, has been an absolute joy. An average of 3.5 days out of 5, that is. During the first few weeks of the school year before my caseload was established, I was able to spend time in the kindergarten classes just getting to know the students. It was such a blast and I fell in love with (most of) the students. I started off working with 20 kids (mostly K, but some 1st/3rd). Throughout the year I was able to exit students if they were making good progress. For example, some kids I started with knew anywhere from 0-6 letter sounds and after a few weeks/months of working with me, were able to name more than 50 in a minute (SO exciting!!). Anyway, my students have changed over the course of the year and I finally have this little boy who I had already met and gotten to know in the beginning of the year. We'll call him Nick.

Nick has pretty much every speech impediment you can imagine. He cannot pronounce his Rs, Ls, Js, Fs, Gs, or Ss. At least they're very hard to decipher. For example, it took me 3 weeks to figure out his cat's name. He kept saying what sounded like, Awwduh. My guesses were Alder, Olive, Otter...the list goes on. He became very frustrated with me on a daily basis because I was determined to figure this out. So finally I sent a piece of paper with him to give to his mom that said, "My cat's name is _____." Nip this question mark in the bud. The cat's name was Oliver. Who woulda thunk. Anyway, Nick is quite cute. The stories he tells are adorable (especially because of his speech), and he's so polite.

Today, when we were reading our book, Miss Bindergarten Stays Home From Kindergarten (highly suspenseful), I noticed Nick kept quietly saying, "exkuthe me." After about 3 or 4 times, I finally said, "Nick, are you trying to get my attention?" He shyly (very unlike him) looked up at me and shook his head. A few more times I heard him say it so I said, "Nick, why do you keep saying excuse me?" ....... "Becuthe I keep fawwting!!"

I should have known. The younger ones somehow are always FULL of farts. Walk into any room and it's a different world of stank in comparison to the hallway. And I'm lucky enough to get to work with the little stink bombs. When do we realize it's not socially acceptable to crop dust your way through life?

Did I have a boyyy?

I don't know if you've heard the news, but Beyonce and Jay-Z have had a child. It was only a matter of time before SNL commented. This is probably my favorite part of the whole episode. Maya Rudolph and Jay Pharoah are incredible as B & J, and Kristen Wiig as T. Swift, and Justin Timberlake as Bon Iver are also must-mentions. Ch-ch-check it.