As part of the requirement for what we accomplish throughout the year for the Minnesota Reading Corps, we have to attend what they call, "Professional Learning Group" meetings. In my opinion, they're pretty pointless and I have yet to get much learning or development out of them. But this week, we were reflecting on the year and discussing whether or not we've gotten out of it what we wanted/expected.
Thinking back, the two things I was hoping this year would bring to me, were to figure out whether or not I want to be a teacher (mission notaccomplished - shucks), and to make a difference. Real vague, I know. I do believe that programs like MRC, Teach for America, etc. have good intentions in solving that major educational issue our country faces. Aka the 'achievement gap.' They place individuals in schools who do care and want to make a change. In theory, that's great. In the scheme of things however, I've somewhat decided we're band-aids to the system and lasting change rests on a much greater level.
With that said...my job does allow me to build positive and consistent relationships with the handful of students that I work with; something many of them desperately need. One student I don't think I'll ever forget is Alex. I started working with him back in October. Unlike many of my other students, his progress hasn't been the greatest and he's nowhere near close to exiting the program. He moved to the United States a little over a year ago from Belize. I don't even know how to categorize his accent. One example being his "ths" turn into "ds;" father turns into fader. It really does create a roadblock for his progress in learning English and learning to read, in particular. To put it in perspective, he was reading about 15 words per minute. He's progressed to around 40; where the goal for third graders is 109 by the end of the year. Yikes, right?
Anyway, in the beginning, his attitude was one of the worst I'd seen when it came to school work. There's an intervention we do that's based on "passing" a page in a given amount of time. Long story short, he'd shut down and get so angry with himself if he made mistakes and didn't pass. I've done my best to create more of a positive attitude towards learning; encouraging him to work his hardest, and make sure he knows that mistakes are ok. After months of staying on him about this, focusing on his progress rather than mistakes, and not allowing his negative attitude while working with me, he's transformed into a new kid. Of course, I can still sense his frustration now and then but his determination to do his best is soaring. His teacher has also made clear that she's seeing a new kid, too. This is all really exciting for me!
What's more, the other day he passed a page that he had been working on for over a week. Obviously I was over the moon...yelling in excitement for him and was so proud of his hard work. Then he turned his head and said, "I couldn't have done it without you!" If you know me, you know I'm a sap so this combined with his genuine smile really set me over the edge. Trying to suppress some happy tears, I thanked him and we kept working. Although I didn't set out for these stories, it helps me feel proud about this year and confirm that I have done something worth while. I doubt Alex will ever really understand that he's been just as big of an inspiration to me.
So have I ensured that Alex is reading proficiently at grade level? Nope. Have I helped him recognize how much he can accomplish when he works his butt off? Yep. And while reading at grade level is important of course, giving a student this boost of confidence has been just as crucial in my eyes. In this light, I'll never look back on this year as a waste of time and know that in the moment, I did some good. Which is cool? I guess at this point I can only hope that he remembers how far he's come this year, just as much as I'll remember him.
Showing posts with label achievement gap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label achievement gap. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
What to do about the Damiens?
One of my hopes for this blog is that it helps me reflect on my year as a literacy tutor. I think I had good intentions going into this and believed in the cause. Now months into it, yes, I can say that I've made a difference. Reading scores have improved and in theory, programs like this help to close the achievement gap. But I think what I'm currently struggling with is far beyond reading scores.
Serving for the Reading Corps in the Minneapolis Public School District is definitely a different animal than it would have been if I were placed in Edina, for example. I think it's safe to say that the kids in Minneapolis are from more varying walks of life. Sidenote: not trying to dis the 'burbs, just tellin' it like it is; Edina doesn't exactly have a need for the extra help. So far this year, I've heard a lot of sad stories and built relationships with students that come from backgrounds very different than my own; her dad's in prison, his family is homeless and living in a shelter, she's experienced sexual abuse from older brothers...you name it.
Signing up for this year I knew that I would encounter sad stories but was prepared to keep the end goal in sight. The Reading Corps is a successful program in place that helps to ensure that students in Minnesota are reading proficiently by the end of 3rd grade; and that's what I planned to keep my eye on. And while this is still my main concern and goal, other issues arise when you're working with a population like the one in Minneapolis. I've surprised myself thus far and kept my knowledge of these sad stories at bay, and for the most part haven't let them effect my emotions at work. Until I met a kindergartner who we'll call Damien.
I met Damien at the beginning of the school year. He's cute as a button, can draw damn good pictures for a kindergartner, and I can tell he's got brains. But within days, he had an arrow over his head; he was trouble. Having just turned 5 in August, he got an early start to a full day at school (something I've learned is a no-no). At this point, all I knew was that he had a knack for ignoring any authority and direction, and just looked like an angry kid. Just recently, I was asked by the Behavior Specialist at school if I could start working with him one-on-one because he just isn't making the gains he needs to and is already being considered for another year in kindergarten.
After a week, I got the go-ahead from my boss and I have started working with Damien. I found out there was a reason they wanted him to work with me. He had been getting extra help from a male tutor at school. Recently though, he witnessed his mom being physically abused by his dad. His trust for men consequently, has gone out the window. So we're hoping that because he knows me already, that he'll be able to build a solid, trusting relationship, and start learning what he needs to.
On top of those issues, he rarely gets to school on time which results in him missing school breakfast, and he isn't getting it at home. Bad start to the day. And he knows a max of 13 letters. This really isn't that off par from what many other students are also going through. And I fear I won't do justice in explaining this...but Damien is just different. I have never seen such a sad and angry five year old. It's a rare occasion when you see the kid smile and it absolutely breaks my heart. You can just sense that he's already gone through so much. When I walked him back to class after the first day we worked together, he held my hand so tight and I could just feel how much hewants needs to be loved and nurtured.
While I hope I can be a positive influence during these short 20 minutes in his day, let's be honest...that's not enough. It's a band-aid. I can pretty much lay out how the next 13 years of his life are going to go. Assuming he stays in the district, he'll have one, maybe two concrete role models for the rest of his elementary school years. But he'll keep getting into trouble. Not much will change going into middle school and he'll develop a negative attitude toward school and won't trust many adults in his life. Not to mention he'll probably fall behind in school. If he's lucky, someone will still see that innocence in him and try to make a difference; try to encourage him to find it in himself to think twice about trying in school. High school though, will be the icing on top of the cake. He'll be marked hopeless by teachers. He's no longer a cute kindergartner that can't help what he's gone through in life. By high school, that's forgotten and it's up to him to get it together. Hopefully he'll graduate, maybe not. College? Doubtful. I hate that I just said all that. And as much as I truly believe (and pray) things could turn around for Damien, I think it's simply against the odds. Of course there are people that have come up from unimaginable things and worked hard to be successful. But I think it's a rare person.
So my question after all this, is WTF do I (we) do. It maddens me to the core that there are countless kids like Damien, who don't ask for nor deserve the hand they've been dealt. And while I do believe that closing the achievement gap and putting a much stronger, concentrated effort on the educational issues in our country will help a number of these kids...it's still not enough. Nothing is perfect and we can't help them all. It's not a matter of "fixing" kids that come from broken homes. But there's this cyclical, messed up pattern that breeds Damiens. I have no answer at this point, unfortunately. But I encourage you think about it; think about any kids like Damien that you know, and fill me in on any wisdom you may have...because this my friends, has left me beat.
Serving for the Reading Corps in the Minneapolis Public School District is definitely a different animal than it would have been if I were placed in Edina, for example. I think it's safe to say that the kids in Minneapolis are from more varying walks of life. Sidenote: not trying to dis the 'burbs, just tellin' it like it is; Edina doesn't exactly have a need for the extra help. So far this year, I've heard a lot of sad stories and built relationships with students that come from backgrounds very different than my own; her dad's in prison, his family is homeless and living in a shelter, she's experienced sexual abuse from older brothers...you name it.
Signing up for this year I knew that I would encounter sad stories but was prepared to keep the end goal in sight. The Reading Corps is a successful program in place that helps to ensure that students in Minnesota are reading proficiently by the end of 3rd grade; and that's what I planned to keep my eye on. And while this is still my main concern and goal, other issues arise when you're working with a population like the one in Minneapolis. I've surprised myself thus far and kept my knowledge of these sad stories at bay, and for the most part haven't let them effect my emotions at work. Until I met a kindergartner who we'll call Damien.
I met Damien at the beginning of the school year. He's cute as a button, can draw damn good pictures for a kindergartner, and I can tell he's got brains. But within days, he had an arrow over his head; he was trouble. Having just turned 5 in August, he got an early start to a full day at school (something I've learned is a no-no). At this point, all I knew was that he had a knack for ignoring any authority and direction, and just looked like an angry kid. Just recently, I was asked by the Behavior Specialist at school if I could start working with him one-on-one because he just isn't making the gains he needs to and is already being considered for another year in kindergarten.
After a week, I got the go-ahead from my boss and I have started working with Damien. I found out there was a reason they wanted him to work with me. He had been getting extra help from a male tutor at school. Recently though, he witnessed his mom being physically abused by his dad. His trust for men consequently, has gone out the window. So we're hoping that because he knows me already, that he'll be able to build a solid, trusting relationship, and start learning what he needs to.
On top of those issues, he rarely gets to school on time which results in him missing school breakfast, and he isn't getting it at home. Bad start to the day. And he knows a max of 13 letters. This really isn't that off par from what many other students are also going through. And I fear I won't do justice in explaining this...but Damien is just different. I have never seen such a sad and angry five year old. It's a rare occasion when you see the kid smile and it absolutely breaks my heart. You can just sense that he's already gone through so much. When I walked him back to class after the first day we worked together, he held my hand so tight and I could just feel how much he
While I hope I can be a positive influence during these short 20 minutes in his day, let's be honest...that's not enough. It's a band-aid. I can pretty much lay out how the next 13 years of his life are going to go. Assuming he stays in the district, he'll have one, maybe two concrete role models for the rest of his elementary school years. But he'll keep getting into trouble. Not much will change going into middle school and he'll develop a negative attitude toward school and won't trust many adults in his life. Not to mention he'll probably fall behind in school. If he's lucky, someone will still see that innocence in him and try to make a difference; try to encourage him to find it in himself to think twice about trying in school. High school though, will be the icing on top of the cake. He'll be marked hopeless by teachers. He's no longer a cute kindergartner that can't help what he's gone through in life. By high school, that's forgotten and it's up to him to get it together. Hopefully he'll graduate, maybe not. College? Doubtful. I hate that I just said all that. And as much as I truly believe (and pray) things could turn around for Damien, I think it's simply against the odds. Of course there are people that have come up from unimaginable things and worked hard to be successful. But I think it's a rare person.
So my question after all this, is WTF do I (we) do. It maddens me to the core that there are countless kids like Damien, who don't ask for nor deserve the hand they've been dealt. And while I do believe that closing the achievement gap and putting a much stronger, concentrated effort on the educational issues in our country will help a number of these kids...it's still not enough. Nothing is perfect and we can't help them all. It's not a matter of "fixing" kids that come from broken homes. But there's this cyclical, messed up pattern that breeds Damiens. I have no answer at this point, unfortunately. But I encourage you think about it; think about any kids like Damien that you know, and fill me in on any wisdom you may have...because this my friends, has left me beat.
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