Yet another debate.

I was driving home from work the other night and Wiz Khalifa's Young, Wild & Free came on the radio. Score. But as I was singing along, I came to realize that the lyrics had been changed. The part that I specifically noticed was that they no longer sang, "so what we smoke weed," and instead, "so what we don't sleep." Which I realize, is to stop any promotion of smoking the ganje [an illegal substance here in the good ole U S of A]. So on the forefront of my thought process about why KDWB (and I'm sure other stations across the country) had to change that minor line in the song, it made sense...whether you like it or not, marijuana is illegal.

But of course my mind wandered into thinking about all the other songs out there that promote inappropriate...stuff. I understand that radio stations have to cut out major profanity (i.e. the 'f' word, etc), but what about the lyrics themselves and their meanings? Although they may not all be so blatant as to say, "we smoke weed," the messages spoken may be just as damaging.

One song that comes to mind is one I've always had a bit of an issue with: Carry Out, by Justin Timberlake and Timbaland. I am definitely guilty of just accepting the "it" songs and not questioning their meaning. But for some reason this one has always stuck and left a bad taste in my mouth, so I'm going to use it for a little comparison.

A few lines from the song in case it hasn't popped into your head yet....
         "Let me get my ticket, baby, let me get in line"
          "Baby get my order right, no errors"
          "Take my order 'cause your body like a carry out"

Is there outright profanity or any suggestion of illegal activity? Nope. Is it profane and degrading? Absolutely. Essentially, this song says men should be able to get whatever they want from women, whenever they want, and their needs are all that matter. It's dehumanizing and even contributes to violence against women. You might say I'm taking this too far, but in my mind, if it's already this bad, what's to come? And unfortunately, a lot of people take on a laissez-faire attitude and don't question popular culture. I know this isn't close to the worst of songs out there perpetuating similar ideas about sex, but it is one that was played on major radio stations right into the ears of young boys/girls/men/women everywhere. It doesn't need to be scouted out because it's all around.

So whoever is controlling the radio waves out there seems to think that smoking weed is not ok, but downgrading women is? Where is the line they draw for what's acceptable to play and what's not? If they take out the part about weed, why not go ahead and cease any lyrics in regard to alcohol? It's not a secret that youth [a.k.a. underage drinkers] are listening to the radio. We better not let them hear Wiz rap about how he drinks.

The fact of the matter is that kids are going to drink before they are 21, and people are going to smoke. And whether or not those few words are swapped out of a song isn't going to change things. But a song like Carry Out; that represents such disrespectful and unhealthy attitudes, that's done by two popular artists, and is catchy and fun, isn't going to be challenged by many people. And to me, that's the bigger issue at hand.

Tying the Knot

Ever since I was a little girl, I've thought, dare I say dreamed, about my wedding day. Beautiful white dress, a rock of an engagement ring, gorgeous flowers, one hell of a reception (cough, open bar, cough). I've thought about what comes after...being married, having a family, and loving someone for the rest of my life. I've never questioned whether it can happen or not. I've never given thought to whether my family would qualify for "family" health insurance, or if I would be allowed to visit my partner in the hospital, or if I'd have to worry about inheritance rights. But that's because for me, it's a man I'm envisioning at that alter, and not a woman.

Decades ago our country faced social justice issues like whether or not women were allowed to vote, whether or not blacks and whites could attend the same school, and whether or not marriage was allowed between a biracial couple. Looking back on that, I think many of us would agree that that type of inequality, not to mention blatant crime against humanity, is almost laughable. Blacks and whites weren't allowed to get married...what?? But here's the thing. It's now 2012 and virtually the same human rights issue faces us. How have the citizens and our government not learned?

After watching the documentary, "Tying the Knot," I've become significantly more enraged by the fact that most states will not recognize a marriage between two people of the same sex. In an attempt to get my point across in an organized fashion, I'd like to turn it to the bullets to get my thoughts across in a simple manner.

• People have different beliefs, and I'm cool with that. Whether it stems from religion, personal values, whatever, I respect (can't say I understand) that some people just don't agree with equal marriage rights. So here's a simple solution for you: don't marry someone of the same sex. But don't make it your mission to deny others the basic human right to happiness and equality. How would you feel if you were told you didn't have the freedom to marry the person you love?
• The documentary showed many struggles but highlighted those of two couples. One women lost her wife when she was shot in the line of duty. And because Florida does not recognize their marriage, the surviving partner did not receive any pension benefits. The other couple's story was similar. When Sam lost his husband, Earl, after 22 years of marriage, Earl's family attempted to take from him their estate and property, even though it was all explicitly left to Sam in the will. Until seeing this, I really didn't think too much about all these crucial details that come hand in hand with marriage. Losing a spouse must be hard enough as it is. It's appalling to me that these individuals had to lose so much more all because the person they loved was the same sex.
• The argument that the traditional institution of marriage is best for society and families makes me somewhat nauseous. It is not necessary for a successful parental team to be man and woman. The only true necessity within a family is love. Period.
• Check out the YouTube below. Which, in a nutshell is Mitt Romney expressing to a war veteran, who is gay, that he will not support any motion to grant marriage equality if elected. Personally, after seeing this, there's no way this candidate can get in my good graces nor will he ever receive my vote (plus he just comes off as a pompous d-bag). I want a president that understands that things have changed since the Constitution was adapted back in 1787. 

Of all the issues being discussed out there, I think this one deserves a lot of attention. Loving someone shouldn't come with a price; if I were gay, I shouldn't have to give up the right to declare that love, or my rights to the benefits of marriage. I don't think the freedom to marry the person you love is too much to ask. I probably won't stop thinking about the day I get married...and no one should have to.