Celebrating my roots with balls.

I hope everyone had a very happy, green, lucky, and crazy cool fun Saint Patrick's Day. In preparation for the holiday and to celebrate my heritage (a.k.a. something do on a Friday night), I decided to make some no-bake cake balls - mmmm! Here comes my first recipe/food post, yay! They were supposed to be minty green in honor of the day, but Rainbow Foods was once again a disappointment to me. Thus, I had to improvise. I should mention right off the bat that I'm pretty crappy in the kitchen. Someone always seems to be able to make a better piece of toast, cut a better slice of cheese (hehe), boil a better pan of water, etc. Needless to say, there came a few times in this process when I ran into a dilemma or two. But did I forge on? YES.

Essentially, this recipe only calls for three ingredients: oreos, Philly cream cheese (I'm with Paula Deen - nonfat cream cheese just ain't right), and white chocolate. And of course, I had to make them green in someway, so I sprinkled them with green...sprinkles.

Next step, put the oreos in a big plastic ziploc and beat the shit out of them. Mash, crunch, mash, into small little crumbs. Then add to a bowl with the cream cheese. Now...wash your hands, take off your rings, and go nuts. Rawr.

Mash everything up together with your hands until it's the consistency of well, something that looks like poop.

Now it's time to roll up some balls! Yee! I made mine about an inch in diameter (?) and it was a good size. It was helpful to kind of roll them up between the palms. They weren't perfect, but hey, that's life for you. No balls are perfect, eh? Throw them in the fridge to harden for about an hour and prepare to dip. 

I thought I was home free and was going to have some really successful cake balls. A kitchen success on the way?! Nope. Who knew white chocolate chips would have the consistency of mashed cauliflowers once melted? Not I.

After a trip to Target to get "Bakers White Chocolate," the shtuff that is made specifically for melting, I finally found success. Kind of..

Melt the chocolate, dip the balls, add the sprinkles, and put back in the fridge to harden for another hour or so. Ze end.

In my head I imagined ma bawls to be fully and evenly covered with white chocolate; a golf ball, if you will. Par for the course, I couldn't make this happen. Twas quite the catastrophe. BUT, even though the appearance of the cake balls was not exactly not at all perfect, they turned out to be verrrry tasty, if I do say so myself. Happy Saint Patrick's day, everyone! Get your balls while they last.