Serving for the Reading Corps in the Minneapolis Public School District is definitely a different animal than it would have been if I were placed in Edina, for example. I think it's safe to say that the kids in Minneapolis are from more varying walks of life. Sidenote: not trying to dis the 'burbs, just tellin' it like it is; Edina doesn't exactly have a need for the extra help. So far this year, I've heard a lot of sad stories and built relationships with students that come from backgrounds very different than my own; her dad's in prison, his family is homeless and living in a shelter, she's experienced sexual abuse from older brothers...you name it.
Signing up for this year I knew that I would encounter sad stories but was prepared to keep the end goal in sight. The Reading Corps is a successful program in place that helps to ensure that students in Minnesota are reading proficiently by the end of 3rd grade; and that's what I planned to keep my eye on. And while this is still my main concern and goal, other issues arise when you're working with a population like the one in Minneapolis. I've surprised myself thus far and kept my knowledge of these sad stories at bay, and for the most part haven't let them effect my emotions at work. Until I met a kindergartner who we'll call Damien.
I met Damien at the beginning of the school year. He's cute as a button, can draw damn good pictures for a kindergartner, and I can tell he's got brains. But within days, he had an arrow over his head; he was trouble. Having just turned 5 in August, he got an early start to a full day at school (something I've learned is a no-no). At this point, all I knew was that he had a knack for ignoring any authority and direction, and just looked like an angry kid. Just recently, I was asked by the Behavior Specialist at school if I could start working with him one-on-one because he just isn't making the gains he needs to and is already being considered for another year in kindergarten.
After a week, I got the go-ahead from my boss and I have started working with Damien. I found out there was a reason they wanted him to work with me. He had been getting extra help from a male tutor at school. Recently though, he witnessed his mom being physically abused by his dad. His trust for men consequently, has gone out the window. So we're hoping that because he knows me already, that he'll be able to build a solid, trusting relationship, and start learning what he needs to.
On top of those issues, he rarely gets to school on time which results in him missing school breakfast, and he isn't getting it at home. Bad start to the day. And he knows a max of 13 letters. This really isn't that off par from what many other students are also going through. And I fear I won't do justice in explaining this...but Damien is just different. I have never seen such a sad and angry five year old. It's a rare occasion when you see the kid smile and it absolutely breaks my heart. You can just sense that he's already gone through so much. When I walked him back to class after the first day we worked together, he held my hand so tight and I could just feel how much he
While I hope I can be a positive influence during these short 20 minutes in his day, let's be honest...that's not enough. It's a band-aid. I can pretty much lay out how the next 13 years of his life are going to go. Assuming he stays in the district, he'll have one, maybe two concrete role models for the rest of his elementary school years. But he'll keep getting into trouble. Not much will change going into middle school and he'll develop a negative attitude toward school and won't trust many adults in his life. Not to mention he'll probably fall behind in school. If he's lucky, someone will still see that innocence in him and try to make a difference; try to encourage him to find it in himself to think twice about trying in school. High school though, will be the icing on top of the cake. He'll be marked hopeless by teachers. He's no longer a cute kindergartner that can't help what he's gone through in life. By high school, that's forgotten and it's up to him to get it together. Hopefully he'll graduate, maybe not. College? Doubtful. I hate that I just said all that. And as much as I truly believe (and pray) things could turn around for Damien, I think it's simply against the odds. Of course there are people that have come up from unimaginable things and worked hard to be successful. But I think it's a rare person.
So my question after all this, is WTF do I (we) do. It maddens me to the core that there are countless kids like Damien, who don't ask for nor deserve the hand they've been dealt. And while I do believe that closing the achievement gap and putting a much stronger, concentrated effort on the educational issues in our country will help a number of these kids...it's still not enough. Nothing is perfect and we can't help them all. It's not a matter of "fixing" kids that come from broken homes. But there's this cyclical, messed up pattern that breeds Damiens. I have no answer at this point, unfortunately. But I encourage you think about it; think about any kids like Damien that you know, and fill me in on any wisdom you may have...because this my friends, has left me beat.
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